March 31

"My blessings come to you in mysterious ways: through pain and trouble." Don't I know that. I've said it over and over, God has shown His goodness and blessed me abundantly through all this pain. I'm thankful everyday for the relationships I've formed over the past seven months- both strengthening relationships I've already had and introducing me to new people. That's what I have to remind myself of. 

The Lord blesses me with this peace and lifts my spirits at just the right times. When I was first assessed by Becky 3 weeks ago, she could feel trace movement everywhere, it was just not quite noticeable to see. They evaluate this by having me lay on my side, a short table between my legs, and a scooter like contraption with wheels under the leg that's on top. This way, movement is more noticeable because of the wheels and slick surface. Dennis had me do a lot of arm exercises and lifting, then I got in the harness that hooks to the overhead lift in order for me to do assisted walking across the gym. I hadn't done it in a little over a week (not since the video Mom took where I realized I actually was initiating each step). I was a little discouraged earlier this week because we did the GEO with stim and didn't get the same response as the last time I did it (there had been very obvious quad contractions and my left knee was visibly jumping). Dennis was both surprised and excited to feel activation in my quads...so much so that he changed his original plan of doing core exercises at the end of our session to doing that assessment again. The therapists usually feel more with my left leg, so that's the leg I wanted him to start with. I had to try to kick my leg forward (driving my knee upward) and then bring it back. It moved the slightest bit and Dennis said he could see me initiating the movement in both directions. Then, we did the same on the right side and it was even more pronounced! Like, the wheels on the thing under my right leg slid across the table top surface almost a whole inch! We put stim on my quads and glutes and continued that movement- bringing my leg up, driving my knee upward, then back down in order to help enforce that connection in my brain. It was a good way to end the week. It helped remind me that although things feel like they're progressing ever so slowly, they're still progressing nonetheless. Muscle and neuro regeneration takes 6-8 weeks and I'm already seeing things that weren't there after 3 weeks. God is good. 

March 30

Dusty taking this new job has sparked conversation about the future...it's exciting and exactly what I've been waiting for, but I'm also trying to suppress thoughts about a future of me not getting back to 100%. I wish I could think about the future and know that it's all going to be okay. I wish I could trust like that. How can you trust in all times, in all circumstances and with all your heart? I guess you start by reminding yourself that your story is already written...there's nothing we can do to change it, why not find comfort by trusting completely? Easier said than done. I pray each day for signs of His presence and for reassurance that I'm not alone, that I can trust each day to Him. The rest of the Proverbs verse is "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." I want to know what that feels like. To trust completely and know the Lord is going to work out all the kinks. Why's it so hard? I constantly find myself knowing everything is going to be okay and feeling so positive about things and then bam, I'm back to feeling sad and questioning everything. 

Just today, my brother came to Baltimore to spend the day with Mom and me. He drove my car (because it's little and doesn't take as much gas as his jeep). He pulled out of the KKI parking garage and waited to follow us to the courtesy house and I found myself thinking about how things used to be...all of a sudden, tears were filling my eyes as I thought about the last time I was even in my own car. It was that day I went to clinic with "the worst migraine ever," then came home and started running a fever and have everything start going downhill. It was the end of my independence. The end of doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. It was the last time I saw patients. The last time I did what I love, what I feel like I was made to do. I was trying to find the words to explain to my mom what was wrong since I couldn't hide the tears when Dusty called. I tried to play it off, but he could tell by my voice that something was wrong, so I had to spill it. Only he could make me laugh in a moment like that. He said "don't worry, I'll get you a new car..a pink jeep or whatever kind of vehicle you want in pink or yellow- you pick." Although pink and yellow are my favorite colors, I'm not sure I'd want anything but my little silver Hyundai Accent right now. I wish I could just get in that car and leave these last seven months behind. 

March 28

Mom and I headed back to Baltimore this morning. I have therapy Monday- Thursday this week, but have to go to Philly to pick up my custom wheelchair Thursday morning so we're staying the night there Wednesday. I have mixed feelings about the chair...it's smaller, lighter and way nicer so things will be a lot easier, but I wish I didn't need it in the first place. I just need to keep reminding myself that although this process is really slow, I still have yet to hit a plateau, so I'm staying hopeful. 

While I was on the stim bike this morning, a middle aged man was practicing wheelies and going over a larger wooden platform (as practice for going over curbs). He said he has a thoracic level injury and has been in his chair less than a year. He's a police officer in Baltimore and is in the national guard...he laughed when he told us that he's a fitness instructor for the department. He said "you don't change your life...you just adapt." I thought that was a good point. I got mad at Dusty last night because he started hounding me about school. I have it in my head that I'm going back to school at the end of August and just picking up where I left off, but with the class below me. My school has said all along to just focus on getting better and then to simply let them know when I'm ready to go back, so I've tried to continue with my therapy and not think about it. I've done that a lot...tried not to think about certain things because I don't want to know the answer. It's never been like me, but right now, I would rather not know things than to get any bad news or to not like the answer. Dusty thinks I need to start planning ahead, but I think I'm afraid of the obstacles that lay ahead of me regarding school...living arrangements, transportation, going to class with students that aren't the friends I spent the last three years with, potentially seeing patients in a wheelchair...all these thoughts scare me. The truth is that we don't know where I'll be in my recovery come August. I've decided that I'm going to work on figuring out a consistent therapy schedule and then prepare myself for a conversation with the dean of my school...simply asking what the next step is. Can I do anything online? Is there work I should be doing in the meantime? Are there handicap accessible exam rooms in the off chance that I may need one when I get back to clinic? It's a lot to think about, but it's important enough that I need to start taking action and not hiding from my fears. It's a really sensitive subject for me and I could use a lot of prayers regarding this matter.

Dennis keeps asking questions about what happened, how I got so sick, and details about my recovery. I was wondering why he'd have these questions because he obviously has access to my medical chart. He said my chart simply lists my "injury" as ADEM... Acute Disseminating Encephalomyelitis. That's the first time I heard someone actually give a name to what happened. I feel like all along everyone has just said things like "it's similar to this disease...but not really." Like it never totally fell into a specific category. Dr. Recio made a referral for me to see the nation's top ADEM specialist at Hopkins, but I don't have a specific date for the appointment yet. I haven't really seen a neurologist since I got sick (besides Dr. Recio, who really just did an assessment in order to prescribe specific therapy). 

Dennis and I talked about nerve regeneration today. Here's what I gathered:  The myelin around my nerves was attacked by an autoimmune reaction (most likely) and some of those nerves were damaged past the myelin, so they need to regenerate. My upper body recovered fairly quickly, but the nerves in my lower body are more than likely taking longer because they're regenerating and because I need a lot more muscle strength. Nerves only grow so many centimeters per week (I think he said like 2cm every two weeks, but I'm not positive) and unfortunately, the nerves in my legs are the longest. He said he doesn't have all the answers, but everything is good so far. That's exactly what Becky had said. I wish we had all the answers, but at least there's hope and that's something to cling onto.

March 26

Have I said how much I love the weekends?! I mean, I'm loving therapy and can't handle taking more than a couple days off, but weekends are even more cherished now that Dusty has started his full time job and Saturday and Sunday are the only days we get to have together. 

I got up and went to the pool this morning...it's my favorite kind of therapy that I can do at home. I know it's time consuming for everyone, but it's also rewarding to compare progress from week to week. Standing gets easier each time I go and today I had an even easier time standing in my own with the walker...with no support from someone holding my knees or pushing them straight. I had more movement when I was trying to float on my back and kick my legs. And then I floated on my stomach, arms on the walker, and brought my knees to my chest then straightened them back out. And two weeks ago I had no glute or quad activation? Crazy! Becky told me that it takes 6-8 weeks to tell a difference in muscle tone and anything from nerve regeneration (both objectives from the therapy I'm going through), but everyone is impressed with how much change we've seen in such a short time. I'm excited to see the difference after those 6-8 weeks then!

There's a middle aged Native American man named Steven that we see at the pool every so often. I'd never met him before, but he comes over every time he sees me and asks how my therapy is going and how I'm feeling. He told us he's a psychiatrist and does speaking engagements around the US for his tribe and especially for the adolescents, raising suicide awareness. It's really interesting to talk to him. Anyways, I hadn't seen him in a couple weeks, but he was there Saturday morning. He told us about how his brother is a "medicine man" for their tribe and specializes in herbal remedies. His mother had a stroke that left her in a wheelchair, but his brother made her a special cream from different plants that she put on her legs everyday and she can walk again! I know, it's crazy. And I'm not really sure how I feel about it, but he's bringing me some of this "magic walking cream" next weekend, haha. It's crazy the people you meet, stories you hear, and things people want to do for you when you're in a wheelchair...

Dusty told me not to make plans Saturday- he wanted to take me to lunch.  We went out to eat and of course I couldn't decide between two meals, so he ordered the one I didn't order so we could share and I could get some of both. It's the small things, right? After lunch, we drove some back roads to get to the property his brother, Joe, works on. I love  how green everything is turning and Dusty wanted to show me the beautiful land and view of the mountains. 

We then went to his house so I could see Miley, his two year old niece. She was barely talking when I got sick and I still think about how sweet it was that Dusty continually showed her my picture and talked about me while I was in the hospital so she wouldn't forget me. Miley is the only one of us that likes the wheelchair. We pulled into the driveway and she ran up to my door, with the sweetest voice she innocently looked at me and said "come on Kel, get out." I long for the day that I can jump out of the car and run around the yard with her. But for now, I have to settle for riding around with her on my lap, asking Uncle Dusty to push us faster and faster. 

Next on Dusty's agenda was wine tasting...anyone that knows me know that wine is high up on my list of favorites (next to coffee!) We went to two different vineyards and did complete wine tastings. It was a great day...and just what I needed. 

March 24

I got to KKI early today in order to get on the stim bike before my regular scheduled therapy. I put in almost 6 miles in one hour! I was happy to see that the stim didn't jump up to 100% right away in order to get me to the target speed. It actually only required about 70% to reach the speed, which is a lot less than I've seen before.

I then spent some time outside, soaking up this beautiful weather after lunch. Therapy was 2-5 and I even got there a little bit early. Dennis had me get into the mobile standing frame and do a couple laps around the gym- something way harder than it sounds. I love that it has wheels, but they're a little too low for my arms, so it takes forever to move very far. My arms were sore after about 5 minutes! I stayed in the standing frame for awhile and played wii...I suck at wii dance, but I did win at wii table tennis, haha.

I did a lot of arm and ab exercises and then some transfer work to try to help me get over my fear of leaning forward...it's getting better, but I still hate it! 

I got to do the G-EO again, but this time we used stim while I was on it. It went even better this time than last time! Dennis could feel quad contraction the whole time! It's the first time they felt that much activation and the first time it didn't fatigue...it was even there without the stim turned on. 

Mom and I decided to go out to eat to celebrate, but things didn't really go as planned. We went downtown, but surprisingly didn't see any handicapped parking...which is unusual because I feel like whenever you're somewhere trying to parallel park, the only open spots are the handicapped ones. And when we did see a spot, it wasn't one that would work because there was a curb or there wasn't enough room to get me out. We finally found a parking garage with spots that had enough room to get the wheelchair out and next to the passenger side. We wanted to go to this burger place a few of the therapists recommended...even looked it up online and saw that it was handicap accessible, but when we got there, there were three steps to get in, no ramp, and all the tables looked like high tops. What exactly is handicap accessible about that? So we gave up and decided to try another place. It was a Tex-mex restaurant that seemed pretty popular. They also only had high tops, but we asked to sit outside instead. The manager said you can't block the sidewalk outside, meaning I would've had to transfer onto one of the benches at the outdoor tables, but there really wasn't enough room to get my chair close enough in order to transfer over. Plus, they said the happy hour specials were only in the bar (where I couldn't sit due to the high tables). So we gave up, I had a little melt down, and we picked up some food to take back to the room.  That was the first time a place only had happy hour specials in the bar, but the bar wasn't handicap accessible. I can't even begin to describe how many times we've ran into instances where businesses think they're handicap accessible and they aren't. I don't know how it's even legal. I can't tell you how upsetting it is to feel like you aren't equal or can't do something as simple as eat at the same table as everyone else. I know everyone says my situation is just temporary, but what about for those that aren't that fortunate? I feel like maybe another reason I'm experiencing all this is so I can become an advocate...I'm feeling really passionate about bringing awareness to the inequality and ignorance surrounding handicap accommodations. 

I've had a lot of people ask me about my devotional. It's "Jesus Calling" and I love it. The app is just a little bit different than the book because instead of just listing the scripture each day, it has the complete verse...but sometimes it's nice to have to get out a bible and look up each verse. 

March 23

I got ready completely on my own this morning! (Lower body dressing and everything!) and then made it out to the kitchen on my own (a big deal because this loaner wheelchair is kind of big and our hallway and doorways are narrow, making the turns really difficult- even for someone trying to push me). 

Danny Gokey's song "Tell your heart to beat again" spoke to me this morning. Here are the lyrics:

You're shattered

Like you've never been before

The life you knew

In a thousand pieces on the floor

And words fall short in times like these

When this world drives you to your knees

You think you're never gonna get back

To the you that used to be

Tell your heart to beat again

Close your eyes and breathe it in

Let the shadows fall away

Step into the light of grace

Yesterday's a closing door

You don't live there anymore

Say goodbye to where you've been

And tell your heart to beat again

Beginning

Just let that word wash over you

It's alright now

Love's healing hands have pulled you through

So get back up, take step one

Leave the darkness, feel the sun

Cause your story's far from over

And your journey's just begun

I love how you can listen to a song and have it relate so perfectly to what you're going through or how you're feeling. Yes, I've felt shattered. Yes, sometimes words aren't enough. Yes, I feel like I might not make it back to the old me. And yes, it has all driven me to simply pray about it. But hearing and reading those lyrics have made me realize that I'm not the same. Maybe I'm not getting back to the old me. I'm starting a new beginning and am going to be a better me. A stronger me. A more faithful me. And a healthier me. This is my new beginning. 

Mom took a video of me in therapy yesterday...she takes many photos and videos each day and sends them to Dad, Dusty, James and Grandma so they know what's going on and also so I can track my own progress- compare each video from week to week. I've heard many therapists tell me "I can tell you're helping me," but I never really knew what that meant. I feel like I'm moving my legs, but can't really tell for sure and I can't see if there's any movement when I'm standing...all I know is that there isn't the movement I want when I'm in a seated position. Well, I finally watched yesterday's video and was shocked to see myself actively initiating each step! It was obvious- even to me, who's usually in denial because I don't want to get my hopes up. This is what I've been waiting for! All it takes is just a little bit of movement...just having something there so that I can work to get stronger. I started with the slightest movement in my arms and was able to work hard enough to slowly build up enough muscle and get back to 100%. This brings me so much hope and I'm really looking forward to the next several weeks of working with Dennis!

March 22

I dreamt I was outside the beach house Dusty's family rents out each year...I was in the road, next to the beach access with my dad. He tried to tell me how hard it was going to be to get onto the beach and closer to the water in my wheelchair because the sidewalk ended. I looked up at him and said "I've got this." I struggled and it was both difficult and unsteady, but I walked. When I told my mom about that dream, she said that maybe God gives us/me dreams like that as a way of telling me not to lose hope. If that's true, it came at the best time. 

I was riding in the car, on my way to Baltimore, for therapy this morning and was still thinking about that dream when Stephanie texted me. She said "I dreamt that you got up and started walking at church! Like I couldn't even keep up with you. It's coming, Kel! Literally in my dream I said why didn't you tell me you started taking steps and you said because I haven't!" Like with no warning, I just did it...

I believe God works through dreams...I don't know if I told this story yet, but my friend Molly and I had the same dream back when I was still at UVA (well... I actually thought it was real, not a dream since I was still kind of out of it). They made me get up in this chair for a few hours a day and I remember how much I hated it at first...it was really difficult for me to sit up. It made breathing all that much harder. One morning, Mom told me I had to get up and spend a few hours in that chair and I told her I didn't want to- I was exhausted. She was like "Kelly, you just got up. How can you be exhausted?" I told her I was up all night, walking around the nurses' station and down the halls of the ICU with Molly. Later that day, Molly told my mom that she had the most vivid dream.... Her and I were walking around the ICU all night, talking about how we wanted to quit optometry school and become a PT since the one I was seeing didn't have to work too hard (I only saw him for like an hour a couple times a week- if even). What's even crazier is that Molly's mom had the same dream three days earlier. I can't wait for the day I get to go back to UVA to visit and walk around that nurses station...

I started my long term therapy today. It'll be a couple days of PT a week and a couple Aqua therapy appointments. I'll spend time in the wellness center on the stim bike and doing other workouts on my own when I have time. This will be for about 10-12 weeks, but what's amazing is that my insurance has unlimited outpatient therapy sessions...I still can't believe it. We're trying to make some of those therapy sessions back to back so we can stay in Baltimore a few nights a week and not have to commute every time. 

I don't know what's better- commuting and paying for gas or staying in Baltimore and paying for housing...regardless, what amazing is that our church has reached out and the Care Team is taking care of us...they want to help with gas and some of the housing expenses. I'm constantly in awe of what good people we have in our lives and I look forward to the opportunity to give back and try to repay/help those that have done so much for me and my family. I think about all this tragedy occurring in the world and my heart breaks, but everyday I'm reminded that there are still good people in this world. There's hope. 

My first day of therapy with Dennis went so well. I got on a new treadmill/gait assistance device called the G-EO. Check it out: http://www.rehatechnology.com/g-eo-system.html

It was AWESOME. It's kind of like the lokomat that I'd done at Magee, but my legs are more free and able to help. And I actually was helping! Like it would recognize me trying to initiate a step and it would help me finish it. I did 30 minutes and over 1000 steps. And Dennis said we would get on the G-EO as much as possible and even try it with stim on to see if that helps even more. I want to do a little more research on it because he said he'd heard that Germany is using it on coma patients (what?!) 

We finished and did some walking while I was attached to the harness and overhead lift (one person at my hips and Dennis helping move my feet). They said that went really well too and could feel me trying with each step. Then, we finished with some standing at the parallel bars with stim on my abs and quads. I was so exhausted by the time Mom and I got into the car to head home! Dennis always asks if I need a break, then laughs at me because I always say no, but I actually took him up on that offer once towards the end of our session. I think that's a good goal, work so hard that I absolutely have to take a break. I'm excited to see how the aqua treadmill goes tomorrow after how well walking went today! 

March 21

I was reading Rory Feek's blog yesterday. His words and story telling were so beautiful. He was telling the story about how he asked Joey to marry him. He wrote "And we both cried.  And together we prayed that God might take our broken hearts and our broken pasts and make something truly beautiful of them.

And He has.  A million times over, He has."

It reminded me of one night when Dusty, my parents and I were in the UVA ICU- I was still unable to move my arms or legs and still didn't have a voice. Fortunately, I was able to mouth words and with enough time, someone would be able to understand what I was saying. I asked that we pray together. There was something about that moment that filled my heart with joy. To see three of the people I love the most surrounding me and laying everything down, asking the Lord to give us strength and to make His presence known. It was one of the first nights I actually remember..I don't remember the first several weeks I was sick, but this is one of the first memories I have and it's so vivid. We've always gone to church and been open about our faith, especially Mom and I, but it was new to see Dad and Dusty bowing their heads next to me. I also remember getting a text from Dusty once I was at Magee saying how he'd been praying more those past few months than he's ever prayed before and that although everything sucked and some of our worst nightmares seemed to be coming alive, his faith was stronger. I also got a card from a friend while in the hospital saying I'd taught her a lot, but above all, I had taught her about God. I never knew I could have such an impact. Those are just some of the examples in which He has made something beautiful out of something so broken. I've had so many opportunities to be a living testimony and I have to remind myself of those instances when I'm feeling fed up with my circumstances... Joey Feek wrote about her terminal battle with cancer, saying “All of this was worth it if my story brought one person to Christ.” What made her even happier was that it was her father. I admire her faith. I also feel like some of this is worth it when I have people tell me how it's strengthened their faith and relationship with the Lord. It never fails, just when I'm starting to feel defeated, God shows me that I'm having a positive impact on someone else and lifts my spirits. 

March 20

Today's sermon was about surrender. I think that's the word I was looking for yesterday...surrender and give God all those doubts and fears. 

"Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:39

Pastor John made a good point...we are comfortable with Jesus in the car with us, as long as He's in the passenger seat. So the question is- who's driving our life? Do we let God into the driver seat? It's easy to surrender and let Him take control when we're at the end of our rope...like when I literally couldn't do anything. So many nights I laid in bed, physically unable to move anything and unable to speak, but knew God could hear me...it was easy to lay everything down and ask Him to take control. It got harder to give up control as I got stronger. Matthew 16:24 says we need to surrender daily... DAILY. "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." 

We have 3 options:

1- live with a rebellious heart towards God

2- live with a divided heart

3- live with a surrendered heart

Letting go of control is hard, but we often find that nothing we lose is worth keeping anyways. A good way to think about it is to ask myself daily who's in the driver seat? I never thought of myself as being selfish, but I've always liked having control- I've always had a plan, always known what the next step in my life was going to be. But those were my plans. That was my timing, not His. 

March 19

I often get weighed down with worries or fears and I hadn't thought about how doing that dims the light of God...I try to cast out any fear by reminding myself of the scripture that says "who of you can add a single hour to your life by worrying?" I know it doesn't do any good, but I never thought about how that's kind of doubting God. He's going to get me through each day and I just need to trust and try to brush aside any doubt.

We went to the therapy pool at home for the first time in awhile...we've been so busy with all the other therapy that I haven't had to create my own. It was nice to finally have some guidance after Aqua therapy at KKI...I actually knew better exercises to work my core. The only downside to our pool and gym visits is how long it takes...I never realize it, but by the time we're back in the car, hours have gone by. I hate how long everything takes. Anytime we do anything, we have to plan it ahead of time- down to the hour. For someone who's always liked having a plan, I actually wish my life could be a little more spontaneous. Things get easier everyday and certain tasks take less and less time, so hopefully those days aren't too far away. 

March 18

Today was the last day of my two week "boot camp" at KKI. I wish I could continue this 10-5 schedule- it's like my new full time job! But fortunately I get to continue as a more long term patient and next week I'll actually be there Tuesday- Friday, so it's not much different. I won't be with Becky, but I really like my new therapist, Dennis.

Jen retested all my fine motor skills and my hand strength. I was about 4-5 standard deviations from average on several of the tests when I started last Monday and today I was only about one standard deviation away- if even. For several tests I was actually normal! 

Becky then retested my balance with reaching measurements and I improved on those as well! Dr. Recio talked to Mom in the waiting room today and said he'd heard only good things about me...he said I was really strong and only going to get stronger...I hope he's right!

The aqua treadmill went well again. I was with Dennis in the pool and he asked if I needed a rest break after our first 10 minute walk. I said no, so after the next round of walking, he said "I'd ask if you wanted a break, but I know you'll probably say no." I like that the therapists know that about me...I'm not there to take breaks! I've been through a lot these last few months, I can make it through a workout. 

I got to be in the standing frame for my last hour of PT today and played Becky in wii. 

I got home and transferred myself onto the couch- there's a first for everything! 

Also, my neighbors got me a gift and left it at the house with my grandma...it's a silver bracelet that says "she believed she could, so she did" on the inside- it's perfect! 

March 16 and 17

I really liked today's passage. Like I've said, I've always been a planner. I like to think ahead and I guess that's the same as having a "preconceived mold." I've had to learn that things don't go as planned and things can change in the blink of an eye. Also, not being able to do everything on my own or having to wait for help with some things has made me more aware of my surroundings and therefore, more attuned to what God is doing around me. After all, His plans are better than mine anyways.

I worked with different therapists on the aqua treadmill the last two days and they felt BOTH legs helping out! And in the afternoon yesterday, Becky used the stim to my spinal cord while I was on the treadmill that they move my legs for me and everyone felt like it was easier to "walk me." I also went from walking with 65% of my body weight supported to only 30% with that stim on! 

I did a little better on the stim bike and I'm hoping my power continues to increase.

Our friends that live here in Baltimore took us out to eat for some amazing seafood. The restaurant was right on the water and seeing the sun go down from the dock was so beautiful! 

I've had a weird episode of dizziness for two mornings in a row now..I get up and ready to shower and my vision goes gray and I get this awful headache. It doesn't last long and goes away with some deep breaths, a cold wash cloth on the face, and a few bites of my yogurt with fruit. It's a little scary and I'm not sure if it's low blood pressure or blood sugar, but I'm glad it doesn't last long. I mentioned it to one of my therapists this morning and she thinks it may be related to how much water I'm losing by sweating at night, haha. Now that my legs are being so active during the day with all this therapy, I've been sweating all the way to my toes instead of just on my arms and back. It's gross, but maybe this extra sweating is a good thing. (I cannot wait until I'm better and can be more comfortable in bed! Being able to move around more in bed and not sweat as much is going to be so great, haha. Seriously, you don't realize how nice little things like this are!) 

I've been working on leg management and being able to pick them up to cross them up high and I've gotten so much better...so much so that I took FIVE minutes off the time it takes to get my pants on. I know, it's ridiculous that it takes so long that I'm excited to take five minutes off. It may or may not have taken half an hour before...everything takes so much longer! The littlest tasks are actually a workout for me. 

I did some walking with the walker while suspended from the harness and hooked up to stim today. Becky said she could feel me helping...I always ask if the therapists I'm working with can feel me doing anything during different tasks because I honestly have no idea. I always feel like I'm helping, but not sure how much. The therapists are always honest and kind of let me down easy if they're not feeling anything, but everyone has felt stuff these last two weeks. I can only hope that means I'm getting better each day! 

I told Becky I could already tell a difference in my core strength and she said it really takes like 6-8 weeks for significant muscle gain and definition, so we should see a lot more as therapy continues. I asked if we were mostly just waiting to build up the muscle in my legs in order to produce movement and she said it's partly that and part neuro regeneration...you can't really tell if all the neurons are there and connected, so they might be there and the muscles aren't strong enough, or all the neurons aren't connected and therefore new ones may be trying to form...regardless, it takes 6-8 weeks. Then she told me the guy that helped found KKI took 18 years before he could walk again. AH! I know I need to keep trying to be patient, but I don't think I could handle that. I haven't hit any plateaus in my recovery so far, so I can't get hung up on how long things are going to take. Hopefully I can keep continuing on this incline and keep getting good news daily! 

March 15

We had a relaxing morning since I had a late start time for therapy. I was able to practice my lower body dressing (it was my own OT session!) since we weren't in a rush. 

It was so good to have Dusty here.. He keeps all of us laughing. He's the most supportive and asks lots of questions because he wants to understand everything, but he's also so good at keeping things lighthearted and trying to make me feel as normal as possible. It sucks still kind of being in this semi long distance relationship, especially with all that's gone on, but I know everything is worth it. Baltimore is closer than Philly and we probably would've seen less of each other if I were still at school.

Becky did something called PNF (proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitatio). It's a set of stretching techniques used to enhance both active and passive range of motion in order to improve motor performance and aid rehabilitation. It helps with realignment and to teach my body to recruit the correct muscles for different movements. She did it and I felt a lot more stable when sitting afterwards and standing seemed much easier. Also, she felt a lot more quad movement in both legs!! She was really excited that during the stretching, I had a spasm in my left leg. I didn't think anything of it because my legs and feet have been twitching a lot lately, but she said that movement was the goal of everything she was doing. It meant the connection was carrying over and down my leg like it's supposed to. I'm probably explaining it wrong, but all I know is that it was a good thing and she was really excited about it, so I'm happy! 

Becky has also been spending a lot of time trying to figure out my long term therapy schedule. She doesn't have any openings, but has been trying to hand pick who I'll work with. As of now, the therapist I was on the aqua treadmill with first, Dennis, is going to be able to work with me. It'll be like 2-3x/ week and then Aqua therapy as well...and I can use the wellness gym on my own time to make it a full schedule. We're also still trying to get a stim bike for the house. Everything takes so long to process and insurance is a pain! Speaking of which, my wheelchair STILL isn't ready...I was fitted in December! I really wanted to be able to cancel that order...but I know recovery takes a long time and I need to just keep taking one day at a time. A new, lighter, slimmer chair would be so much nicer than the loaner I have, so I'm actually finding myself wishing I had it already. Hopefully it'll be here in the next two weeks. 

Mom's knee is feeling a lot better, so thanks for the prayers. Having Dusty here to help with the transfers for a couple days really helped and gave her a break.

Our friend is still in the ICU and really needs any prayers he can get. I know it's got to be scary for him and his family...I hope they get answers and good news. 

My classmates are all taking part one of boards this week and could use some prayers as well! 

March 14

Another great day!! For once, I may have been more excited to get back to therapy than to be home. Mom and I made it all the way to Baltimore a whole hour before we needed to... But that's how we do things. We'd rather be an hour early than two minutes late (now, Dad and Dusty on the other hand...)

In OT, Jen had me do a lot of fine motor activities with stim on my hands. My pinch and grip strengths still aren't completely normal, so we're working on getting those numbers a little higher. 

I had Aqua therapy with Becky in the larger pool. We did some core work then some standing and ended by using this water walker and doing a few laps around the pool. Someone was behind me and she moved my legs. Becky said one of my legs was better at stepping forward and one was better at stepping down and holding me in place. She thought the same thing when we got onto the treadmill in the afternoon. She told Mom how she could feel my legs helping with various tasks and thinks my nervous system just needs a jump start before it kicks in and starts helping. I like all this positive feedback. It's made me think a lot about KKI's phrase "hope through motion." Magee's word was "believe," as in "believe in a way back." Believe that whatever happened to you won't hold you back. I needed that when my recovery started because there were days that I was scared and didn't believe I was going to get better. Now I'm surrounded by "hope," hope that everything will keep improving and hope that I'll be back on my feet sometime soon. Believe and hope are two words that have always had positive meanings, but they mean so much more to me now. 

March 12 and 13

 I was so happy that my therapist was not only able to get me extra therapy for Saturday, but she was able to personally work with me! I did an hour on the recumbent stim bike (over 6 miles!), some standing at the parallel bars, and an hour in the pool on the aqua treadmill. It was such a good workout! 

Last time I did that stim bike was Thanksgiving...I remember it being pretty difficult and tiring because it also works your arms, like the elliptical. I would have to stop and give my arms a break periodically. But this time I went the whole hour and my arms were fine! I think (and hope) it was due to a combination of my arms being stronger and my legs helping more, so it wasn't just upper body strength the whole time. 

In the pool, Becky made the comment that she could definitely feel me helping while we walked on the aqua treadmill. She had also told the aid that was helping us that I had trace movement and strength EVERYWHERE...not just glutes or ankles, but everywhere. It's coming along!!!

The drive home seemed so short, especially in comparison to what we're used to. I got home and Dusty was there, ready to take me out for the evening. We haven't had many opportunities to go out, just the two of us, like we used to. We'd been wanting to go to this one Chinese restaurant we used to go to. They changed locations a little less than a year ago (to a building that's actually more handicap accessible), but we still hadn't checked it out. We had an amazing dinner, then went across the street to our favorite bar to watch a couple of the basketball games before heading home. It felt like a normal night at home... Going to the places we used to go and then coming home to watch tv and have popcorn before bed. 

I wanted to go to the pool on Sunday morning, just to see what I could do and to show Dad or Dusty, but we didn't have much time to spare. Laundry needed to be done and clothes repacked and then groceries needed to be bought and meals prepped/packed (my poor Mom didn't get a second of rest). I got ready and even straightened my hair for the first time in months. Mom and I went to my friend, Brittany's, baby shower. I'm glad that although therapy has become like a full time job for not only me, but my whole family, we still have time to do things like this. As always, Brittany's sister, Aubrey, threw a great party and we all had a good time. 

A few prayer requests: 

Mom has dislocated her knee a couple times in the past 24 hours..no pain, but I can tell she's a little unstable. Prayers for strength and that nothing else happens since it's just the two of us this week.

One of mom's coworker's husband had a hemorrhagic stroke Friday. He was in the ICU, then moved to the floor, and is now back in the unit for more bleeding. His wife said everything happening has made her think about me a lot and that she hopes to be as strong as me through all this...I think my strength comes from God and all the prayers I'm constantly receiving, so I pray that she receives those same prayers and feels the Lord next to her, helping them get through this.

There's a lot to be said about that post...

Learning to live above my circumstances is something I deal with on a daily basis. A few months ago, my circumstances consumed me. With a lot of prayer, an endless amount of support, and by learning to live one day at a time, I've been able to rise above it...to some degree at least. I used to just be strong throughout the day...staying busy helped, but I'd still shed some tears at night. I still find myself reflecting to those last few weeks of August or seeing my last patient that Saturday or even that first trip to the ER, thinking I'd be home within the next few hours. It seems like just yesterday, but it also seems like forever ago. As I've learned to not let my circumstances consume me, my perspective has changed...and so has everyone's around me. I think we've all been made more aware of what's really important in this life. One of my most important things the Lord has blessed me with is the ability to face all of this with good cheer. Since day one, I've had people telling me about my smile. When I couldn't talk because my vocal cords were still paralyzed, it's all I had. Kristen and I said last week how the psychologists we'd been made to see kept wanting to force antidepressants on us because everyone thinks something must be wrong for us to be happy during a time like this. But what other choice do we have? Our faith is something we have in common and I don't think being able to find cheer is just a coincidence. Everyone wants to question this joy we've found, but like I've said so many time, there are countless blessings that have been seen throughout this tragedy. No one can take those away. 

March 11

I did so much walking today that I feel like this is appropriate! I posted a picture of this devotional two years ago and remember how much it helped me then...I was in my first year of optometry school and on the verge of a break down every other day. My roommate, Annie, and I tried to commit to reading Jesus Calling everyday because when we did, our days were so much better...our minds were in a better place and our whole attitude was so much better. We were constantly sending each other pictures of it when one of us would leave the house without reading it.

When we got to therapy this morning, the same valet guy met us at the front door. We started talking to him and learned his name is Vance. He meets us every time we go outside and doesn't let mom get my wheelchair out alone, insisting that he helps. And yesterday, he had our car waiting at the end of the day saying, "it's 5:15, I knew you'd be coming out any minute." It's funny how people know my schedule better than I do! He was asking us where we're from and said how he goes to Massanutten every year. I told him how that's not too far from Winchester and that it's really close to Bridgewater, where I went to undergrad. Naturally, Mom and I asked him if he drank wine and he told us how much his wife likes going to vineyards. He asked what had happened to me and how therapy was going then told me "I've worked here for 12years and have seen many miracles walk out of this building. I can tell God has plans for you." I told him that I couldn't wait to personally walk him around the vineyard we work at and he said he'll hold me accountable. I love interactions like this and meeting new people!

I started the day with an hour of OT. Jen showed me a few different techniques to help with my struggle of lower body dressing...I can do it, but it's so time consuming. Her tips seemed to really help, so I'm hoping to really cut down on the time it takes to get ready in the next few weeks. 

I used that special transfer board a lot and was transferring myself all morning! I'm hoping we can get insurance to cover it after a few more times of using it and proving how helpful it is. 

Before our session was over, Jen taped my back in a way to help engage my back muscles and improve my posture. I already think it's helping and I'm not even aware of having the tape on my back. 

I did a lot of new things today and was on my feet the majority of the time. I did the treadmill, where they manually move my legs, like I did at Magee. I was up there for almost a full hour! I kept the harness on and was hooked to an overhead lift. We then hooked up the stim to my front and back so my spinal cord was directly stimulated again. Someone was at my hips from behind and Becky moved my legs in front of me while I pushed a walker and tried to walk. I wasn't sure how much was actually me, but my therapist said I was helping a lot. It's the first time I "walked" not on a treadmill since my injury! 

I did more crunches while hooked up to stim and then did some back and shoulder strengthening exercises. I finished my day of therapy in the pool. This time, I was in the smaller pool that has the treadmill...yes, a water treadmill. I was with a different therapist named Dennis. He said he'd heard I had some new leg strength and activation...I'm glad my therapists have noticed and talked about it! He then said he was going to move my left leg forward and I moved it for him. I didn't realize it was all me until he asked if I had hip flexor activation...I guess I do to some extent! We walked the majority of the hour. Someone was behind me, I held onto parallel bars, and then another person was in front of me, moving my legs with their feet. I've always had a foot phobia, so it's funny that I was actually okay with someone else's feet all over me for a whole hour...guess you just gotta do what you gotta do! I also did some standing and worked on taking one hand off the bar at a time and even took both hands off a few times. I can't wait to do it again tomorrow! 

I talked to Kristen a little more at lunch today. It was cool how much we have in common. We bonded over our inpatient experiences and how everyone thought we were crazy for finding happiness during our experiences...the doctors had tried to get us both to take antidepressants, saying we weren't being realistic. I think finding goodness in all this is what's kept us both going. You just have to take one day at a time...I don't really see any other option. I'd rather give it my all and fight like hell than to let this swallow me and overtake me. I'm glad the two of us are in this together at the same time because she's inspired me already. I think we can both come out of this stronger than ever...not just because we're so determined, but because I think we are both taking one day at a time, one step at a time, and letting God take control (by the way, she wears a silver cross that I absolutely love!) 

I get to have therapy again tomorrow, which is good since I didn't start until Tuesday...I can still get a full week! My therapist even arranged her schedule so she can work with me. I'm excited to see what the day has in store and what else my body is capable of doing when I push it hard enough.

March 10

I don't want to leave! Every day is bringing new opportunities and I'm PRAYING I get more time than just these two weeks here. I know I should just be thankful that they had a cancellation and could get me in sooner than the 28th, but I just really think this is where I need to be right now.

Here's how my day went:

I started in the pool...the 90 degree pool! It's awesome...the floor is moveable, so I just move onto the floor then it's moved down and I'm in the water. 

I worked with Rachel in the pool today. She moved a seat into the pool and I did some sitting balance stuff and ab work. We then did some stuff with weights, standing, and small standing squats. Rachel wanted me to see how I felt about floating and then transitioning into trying to swim. I actually had no problem at all! I SWAM from one side of the pool to the other! This makes me so happy because even if I couldn't stay here, I know I can get a full body workout in the pool by swimming laps at home. I'm constantly working out in therapy, but I've been missing the overall cardio workouts I used to get by going for a run or spending time at the gym. I can't wait to see what else happens in Aqua therapy tomorrow and Saturday!

I got to get in a new standing frame. It has wheels and is mobile...I got to go outside in it! It's the straightest I've felt standing and there wasn't even any back support. I was able to take both hands off and up in the air, something I haven't felt stable enough to do before. And I had stim on my back the whole time to help make sure my posture was as straight as possible. Becky said I have obvious back strength, but my core is weak because I'm lacking back strength. We're going to work on some back strengthening tomorrow.

I did another type of stim that targets the spinal cord directly. Electrodes go on the stomach and back. Research has shown that it can help improve sensation and even movement, so they wanted to try it. They hooked it up and I was able to voluntarily move my toes! I also had some ankle movement and obvious glute contractions. I then stood with the walker with it still hooked up and it was even easier than on Tuesday when I stood with the parallel bars. We're going to do it again tomorrow since it went so well!

The last thing I did was a tilt table with a vibrating foot plate. The vibrations promote blood flow return and muscle activation. I did a ton of ab exercises with the vibrations going, which enhanced the activity. I loved it because it wasn't something we had planned for the day, but I asked about it and since no one was using it, we got to try. 

It was such a good day and I actually worked up a sweat...not the sweating I've had no control over since I got sick, but an actual sweat because I was working so hard.

I can't wait to see how tomorrow goes, we've got a lot of things planned! 

March 9

Is it possible that today was even better than yesterday? Therapy didn't start until 11, so I got to sleep in a little, eat breakfast in bed, and take my time in the shower- it was great! I had OT first with Macy. We connected right away when she told me her grandfather went to the same optometry school as me. She asked me if I use a wooden transfer board or some other kind- I can't even remember the name. Since I hadn't heard of the other one, I asked to see it. It was so cool! It's a transfer board with a disc on a track...you put it under you and can slide yourself because the center part moves...it's perfect because you can use with without help and it doesn't hurt your skin by shearing (which is my problem when I don't get a good enough lift). She said she could go ahead and put an order in for me and they already have letters written up for insurance. I was impressed at how prepared they were and how matter of fact it seemed when she said she could order it. She used stim on my hands while we did fine motor exercises and played "Mastermind." It's a mind game for ages 8+, but I don't know how kids play it! It was challenging, but I loved it...kind of like the enjoyment I get out of sudoku. She also used stim on my back while I did some reaching and balancing.

I had 3 more hours of PT with Becky in the afternoon. The first hour was spend making splints for my legs and feet...basically, like a boot made out of cast material that I'll wear at night for a constant stretch. I spent the rest of the time on the stim bike- I logged a full hour (I'm used to barely doing 30 minutes) and 6.5 miles! My therapist was impressed with how well I was doing and my goal is to keep increasing the power in order to do this other stim machine that suspends you and works on standing and walking. She thinks I'll be able to do it, I just need to increase my power and have my muscles not fatigue as quickly. I liked that I was the only patient she was working with. All her attention was on me- she answered any question I had and spent a long time pulling up charts and data from all my stim bike sessions. I warned her that Dusty is going to love it and have a million of his own questions when he shows up Monday and Tuesday, haha. Seriously though, I can't wait for him to see everything for himself.

I spent a little bit of time outside after therapy, enjoying how absolutely beautiful it's been. While we waited for the valet to get our car (they park our car for us everyday), I met a girl named Kristin and her parents. She's 21, from Tennessee, and in a wheelchair. She was so nice and we started talking right away. She just started this week as well and we were telling each other what we've done so far and she told me that I'm going to really enjoy the pool tomorrow. Her dad said she got sick in April (paralyzed from the waist down) when they were on vacation in North Carolina...she spent time in the hospital at Duke and it took two months before she got the diagnosis of transverse myelitis...she was excited to hear that I had something similar and could relate. Her parents and her drive from their grandparents' house in Delaware each day, so we told them about the courtesy house we've been staying at. It'd be really great if they could stay here and we had more time to get to know each other. I can only imagine how she feels having dealt with all this for almost a year... I was thinking six months was too long for me to handle.

Mom and I got really great Mexican food for dinner. During our meal, an older man stopped and asked me what happened. We told him and he told us about how he's 83, not very religious, but goes to church every week. He was wounded in Korea and almost lost his leg. He got sick  when he was 52 and almost lost his leg again. He said he prayed to Jesus and knows He saved him and told me that God will get me through, He's all I need and not to give up. I look at these encounters as God sending these people to give me hope. I usually meet strangers like this at just the right times, right when I need a pick me up. I wasn't down or anything tonight (quite the opposite), but it reminded to keep thanking God and not get caught up in being so overwhelmed and excited about all that's happening here in Baltimore that I forget to thank Him.

March 8

It was my first day at Kennedy-Krieger! I'm so excited for this next chapter and my day was everything I had hoped it would be. I started with my new OT, Jen. We mostly just talked about where I'm at- what I can and can't do and then did a lot of evaluating. I did the grip and pinch tests I've done so many times over the past few months. I also did other fine motor tests. Pretty much everything was normal or on the lower end of normal with a little room for improvement. I was surprised to see that I have a slight coordination deficit, but that's just something for us to work on. They're going to give me a small stim unit with electrodes to use on my hands and build up the muscles and muscle memory...I'll do it 3-5x/week for 30 minutes.

I'm impressed with everything at this facility...it's so wheelchair accessible. There are a lot of ramps, the elevators and hallways are wide, there are easy to reach buttons for the doors, and even all the tables in the lunch area are height adjustable. 

My PT's name is Becky. I absolutely loved our session (which is good because we were together for three hours!) She did a full assessment, checking for tone and range of motion and rating it based on how much was present. She didn't rate anything a 0, meaning she felt something everywhere! I can't tell you how many times therapists have said "I think I feel something, but it's probably abs." I haven't gotten confirmation that I have that movement before. Becky said she felt something and knew it was just my hips because how of I was positioned. She has so many ideas and wants to try so many things- like different stim machines, custom orthotic braces to sleep in and keep my ankles stretched, lots of gait exercises, some type of taping?, and I'm going to be measured for the exoskeleton. 

She described all of this in a way I hadn't thought about it before...when lifting weights, you don't start with a heavy weight. You have to start small and work your way up. My legs are heavy, it's like trying to start with a really heavy weight. 

She had started our time together by saying "I want to see you get into the mat without my help." I laughed and said "I want to see that too" haha. I surprised even myself and did an independent transfer! Granted, I did a little more sliding than I should have because I'm still a little scared to lean too far forward, which is what I should do in order to get a better lift...but I still did it on my own! She said we'll work on transfers and leaning a lot in the pool, where I'll feel more comfortable and there isn't anywhere for me to fall. Hopefully I'll overcome that fear this way. 

At the end of our session, we went over to the parallel bars. Becky sat in front of me with her knees blocking my knees. She also had a harness-like thing she put behind my hips to kind of hold me up, but said she didn't want to have to pull much on it or have to help me. I stood up, just like I do with the walker in the pool. I had no idea I could do that! I feel like I learned so much and so many news doors are being opened. I can't wait to work hard and see what happens!

March 5

Sad to see our vacation come to an end. And we ended it in the worst way- 12 hours of traveling! Between the lay overs, two plane rides, and a drive home from DC- Dusty and I are ready to relax after our week of relaxation, haha. 

Good thing I had time at the spa before the chaos that ensued the day after. Dusty's sister and I got a pedicure (a little disappointing because there weren't even massage chairs...there were those portable basins with water in them, nothing fancy.) The ladies barely spoke English, but managed to tell me that my feet were both very smooth and very purple 😒 and Kasey's feet were "rough."  Later in the afternoon, I got a facial. I've never really had any acne, but the combination of high dose steroids and being sick in general has my face do broke out and oily. I thought it'd be a good idea to try a facial, especially after a week in the sun with constant sunscreen. Dusty came with me to make sure I got settled and helped me get onto the massage table. I've never had a facial and really didn't know what to expect, but it was great! I'm not even sure what was going on since my eyes were closed the whole time, but I was very relaxed..at least until she started pinching my face, haha. At first, I thought it was some type of facial massage, but the pinching continued..not necessarily uncomfortable, just strange. Then the girl laughed and showed me the blackheads she was getting. And I started counting how many times she did it...sixty three!!! So apparently I needed the deep cleansing treatment! 

Dusty and I kind of made our rounds and said goodbye to the staff we'd made friend with during the week. Among these people was a man named Eddy Gonzales. He was actually the first person we met because he greeted us at check in with champagne. When we were saying goodbye, Eddy asked what had happened to my legs. We told him about how I got sick and he was shocked that all of it had pretty much just happened. He said "and before that, you could walk and everything?" Yep, just like that. I think he felt bad because he invited us to the front desk for more champagne, haha. I showed him pictures of myself standing before I got sick and he said he knew I'd be okay and that all I need is God. He also said he looked forward to us visiting again when I'm better. Dusty and I are going to have a lot of people we'll have to visit once I'm back on these two feet! 

This is such a small world...we were in the Fort Lauderdale airport and a woman came up to Dusty's brother, asking if he cuts trees for a living. He said that wasn't his full time job but that yes, he cuts trees down for people on the side. Apparently he had cut some down for her! We talked with her for a little bit and she asked what had happened to me. (A question I'm not sure if feel comfortable asking people, but I get it a lot...and it really doesn't bother me at all...I actually like when people ask because it makes me reflect on how far I've come and how great God has been). The lady said she's a prayer warrior and planned to pray for me everyday by name. It's crazy the type of interactions we have.

March 3

It's hard to believe it's already Thursday. I don't think I'd ever get tired of sitting by the pool or on the beach...especially with a drink in my hand and no clouds in the sky. I've already read a whole book since we got here and Dusty just went to the front office and found me another one I could borrow...I guess they have books there that people can use while they're here. It feels good to be able to read whatever I want, but I'd actually rather be studying or reading school material- as crazy as that sounds. I look forward to getting some of my school stuff together once I get home and back into a routine. I don't plan to return to Philly until August, which is when I left off last year, but I need to stay on top of the material and keep it fresh in my mind. I can't wait to be back in clinic and seeing patients again, especially with everything that has happened...I think it's really going to give me a different outlook.

Dusty and I explored the resort a little bit yesterday afternoon. There's actually a resort next to us and we wondered over there. Dusty said he'd been thinking about it and realized it's been a long time since I've seen green grass...he then helped me scoot forward so I could feel the grass on my feet. It actually felt kind of normal! It was really sweet...I hadn't really thought about it. It's crazy the kind of things we all take for granted.

I only got a few pictures of us on the boat, but trust me, pictures wouldn't even begin to describe the experience. Men think they can do anything because of their strength...get me and the wheelchair onto a boat? No problem! Yeah, right. Dusty and his brother pushed me down the beach in the chair, on in front and one in back. I'm not sure how many men tried to help, but somehow I was in the wheelchair in a tiny boat and then picked up and put onto a bigger boat. They then used flip flops to hold the wheels in place on the boat, haha. The views from the boat were worth the trouble of getting on and off it though. 

There's a whole team of people at the resort whose job is entertainment. How awesome would that be to get paid to have fun all day- play games, dance, meet new people- all while in paradise. I think we helped them with their job yesterday though. We had everyone's attention between making it up and down the beach and on and off the boat. 

March 2

Not much has been going on- which is a very good thing! I've been sleeping in, eating breakfast, going to the beach, eating lunch, going to the pool, going to dinner, going to the bar or hanging out, then repeating the next day. It's been so great. As if our vacation couldn't be any better, Dusty got a phone call yesterday saying he got the job he interviewed for last week! He hasn't had a normal 9-5 job in the field he wants (local government) because he's still a couple classes short of his masters in public administration and those jobs are hard to come by without your degree or experience. It's a job in Loudan County with benefits that is perfect for him, allowing him to split his time between in the office and on site. He doesn't start until the 24th, but we think this is the beginning of our luck turning around and a fresh start. 

Speaking of a fresh start, we talked to Baltimore yesterday and they said they couldn't schedule me until the 28. We were a little disappointed because I can't wait to get started. Mom talked to the woman she's been in contact with this whole time, Angela, and she was a lifesaver- somehow working it out for me to start NEXT TUESDAY! We even have housing, but are still looking into other options that may be a little less expensive. I'll be doing spat and aquatic therapy, then try to schedule OT as soon as there is an opening. I'm so ready to get there and work hard.

Dusty, his mom, sister and cousins all got in a banana boat yesterday and it was amusing to watch. Then Dusty talked to some resort staff and scheduled a snorkeling trip for the whole family...I don't think I'm going to snorkel, but I'm excited about getting into the boat and seeing the reef and sand bar. The water is so beautiful! 

I've also decided to treat myself to a facial and pedicure Friday before we leave- the ultimate relaxation!