November 30 and December 1

Yesterday was my dad's birthday and although we don't do much for birthdays (usually just a favorite meal and family time), I was still sad I wasn't home. I know I'm not missing out on too much outside of these walls right now- school can be picked back up when I'm better and I can make new memories and have new adventures or experiences once this is all over, but that doesn't make this any easier. My mom keeps reminding me that I can't change the circumstances, but I can change my attitude. She also said that I should make the most of this experience- maybe God wants me to make relationships here...It's just weird to think that I'm working so hard and so impatient with my recovery and I should be enjoying this time somehow...like enjoying making new relationships and experiences. I have no idea what God has in store for me or His reasoning for all of this, but I am trying to use this time to draw closer to Him and to interact with other people, especially patients that don't have many visitors.

Christin kept me company yesterday afternoon and even got to stay and watch the treadmill. I wish the sun would've shined more through my favorite window, but we still went to the lounge and I still kept warm for the most part. Neither Steph or Natalie were there yesterday, but I did a lot of arm strengthening exercises in OT and the treadmill went well for PT. Ellen, my sweet 82 year old roommate, and I went down to dinner together. I wasn't very hungry, but I was trying to be social and I knew it was Ellen's last night before she left to go home. We got ice cream and decided to bring it upstairs to our room and watch The Voice. I wish someone could've taped us trying to get upstairs- me with my hot tea and ice cream in my lap and her with her decaf coffee and ice cream. I tried to hold the elevator for her, but it shut. It took me up a couple levels and I had to go back down to the cafeteria level to try to find her. We were cracking up and had everyone else laughing when we got back upstairs. `

I know I've been fortunate to have visitors every single day that I've been here...that's every day since October 8. Today is the first day that I don't have someone coming...at least that I know about. I knew there would have to be days when this would happen and I really wasn't sure how I'd deal with it. To top it off Ellen left this morning. So it's really quieter and emptier around here. I had therapy all morning (9-12) and then met Julie to paint a little bit before she had to leave for the day, so my morning was really busy. The afternoon, however, is going much slower. I'm trying to keep myself busy by reading a new book I bought on the kindle, catching up on these blogs, and watching gameshow network, haha. I went to the lounge a little bit ago and talked with one of the other patients for awhile, which helped pass some time.

My therapies this morning were pretty tiring. I got into tall kneel and on all fours again, which is always difficult, but I like putting that weight on my legs because I'm hoping and praying something more will happen in my lower extremities soon. In PT, Steph said that the other therapists I had worked with while she was off reported that my transfers were minimum assist. If I can do that consistently with different people and on different surfaces, then I won't need an electronic or manual lift when I leave in three weeks (which is the plan!). We also discussed different options in a custom wheelchair. I think I mentioned it before, but they will give me a loaner chair when I leave that is similar to what I've been using. We'll put an order in for a custom chair, but it takes 3 months to come in. If by some chance I don't need the custom chair in 3 months, we can just cancel the order (how wonderful would that be?!) My legs and feet keep spasming, like they're trying to work, so I'm trying really hard to be patient. I know it'll happen when I least expect it, but it's all I can think about!






































I have to admit that I didn't start my day with my devotional, like I prefer to. I actually just read it after I typed up the beginning part of this blog. How amazing is it to know that God knew us before we were even born? It brings me back to the realization that this isn't my story to write...I'm just living it. And no matter what I do, I am loved...an everlasting love. It's true, in this day and age, we get so caught up in the business of life that we lose track of time and don't find that "stillness." I'll admit it- I wasn't very good about reading my devotional everyday or taking time to talk to God or thank Him for things throughout the day. That's one thing that this atmosphere has helped me with. Granted, I am really busy with therapies, but there is still some down time that I've chosen to fill with prayer and thinking and trying to deal with all of this. "The ultimate protection against sinking during life's storms is devoting time to develop your relationship with Me." It's easier to devote the time when you're removed from life's chaos, so I pray that I can continue strengthening my relationship with God when I leave....which is thought to be on December 23rd! I have so much I want to accomplish before then, but the count down is on and I'm so thankful that I'll get to spend Christmas at home.