December 2 and 3

This week went by so fast! Dusty got in on Tuesday night and his sister and mom arrived Wednesday. We kept busy, but brought out Phase 10 whenever there was any downtime. I made my first batch of gluten free brownies on Wednesday. Everyone knows how much I love cooking and baking, so it's nice that Tracy and I can spend time in the kitchen at least once a week. (I even sent a plate home with Annie when she visited Thursday...she said it was like I was still cooking for all the roommates like I used to.)

Dusty got approved by my therapists to do transfers on his own and I also got upgraded for nursing to do my transfers. We were using a lift in therapy and in the bedroom before I was strong enough for transfers (and when I first got here, I couldn't even support my own head when they used the lift). I wasn't able to do them in the bedroom until this week because they had to get better and stronger. Now I can because they've improved to "minimum assistance." Hard to believe that they think I'll be able to transfer myself at some point to different chairs or into bed, etc.

We worked on lower body dressing again on Wednesday and I got pretty frustrated. It's just so hard to lift yourself up and pull up pants at the same time...We tried a leaning technique (like leaning from side to side in the chair), but pushing myself up in the chair and trying to grab the pants at the same time is just too much to do. We finally worked out a way for me to do it in bed by rolling from side to side, but I'm just hoping I get more movement in my legs and hips and none of this will be a problem.

Tracy had me go to the roof again and practice more curb cuts during rec therapy. When we did this last Monday, I tried the largest one with the biggest hill and got stuck, then started rolling backwards totally freaked myself out. Today, I did that one first and made it up all by myself!

In PT, Steph and I worked on doing a car transfer. They have a really old car (on the roof of all places, haha) that people can practice with. It's a really awkward transfers because there's not much room for someone to get in front of you as you move from the wheelchair to the car chair, mostly because car doors don't open all the way and then the dash board gets in the way. We did it though! I'm hoping to practice in one of my family's cars or one similar in size next week to see how it goes.

Dusty also learned how to set up the stim bike this week. We're trying to order one through insurance since I get such a good response, but who knows how that'll end up. If nothing else, we may be able to go to a rehab place at home and as long as you have someone that knows how to set it up, you can spend extra time doing it. I'd love to have extra therapy on my own time by doing the bike, so this would be perfect.

Some PT students came to Magee for a lab and had asked me to participate. I don't mind doing things like this since I'm a student too and know how important hands on practice can be. For some reason, I just wasn't in the mood to help, though! I'd had an exhausting day of therapies and the last thing I wanted was to have a bunch of students watching me. Dusty convinced me to do it anyways and it actually went really well. They were impressed with my range of motion and how flexible I am since joints tend to get stiffer during spinal cord injuries and there's usually a limitation on how far certain body parts can be stretched or moved. Luckily, my parents and Dusty made sure to stretch me out the whole time I was in ICU, so this was never a problem for me. At the end of the lab, the therapist and one of the students helped to stand me up. Any time I can get weight through my legs is good, so it was kind of like extra therapy for me. The student even felt my right quad contract! and I didn't need any help at the trunk...Dusty was impressed with how much my posture has improved since he hadn't seen me stand the last few times.

Annie got here in perfect timing Thursday...just as Dusty was leaving. Goodbyes are always the hardest, so I was relieved she got here before I could get too upset. (Side note- I burst into tears earlier in the day when I realized that in less than 3 weeks, I won't have to say goodbye to him or my family again since I'll be with them all the time. Dusty said I cry when I'm happy and when I'm sad, but the happy tears were much easier to deal with, haha). It was such a great visit with Annie and reminded me of all the times she would come upstairs and lay on my bed, talking about everything. We may have shed a few tears when I made a comment about probably never going back up to my bedroom on the third flood of our house here in Philly. We read a couple entries from my devotional together and the strangest thing happened...the whole time I read outlaid, my legs were spasming and jumping a bit. They weren't doing that at all before I picked up the devotional. I felt like it was God's way of telling me to pay attention to the words I was reading.

Here's a little bit from what I was reading and what we were talking about:

"When you keep your focus on Me, you experience both My Presence and My Peace."
I thought that was perfect timing because I was focused on Him instead and that's when my legs started moving. I feel like things like this happen a lot. When I stop being so focused on what isn't happening or how slow things are progressing and just spend time talking to God, that's when I start to see more changes.
And just when I started thinking about this, I read another entry that said "Through your sacrifice of precious time, I bless you far more than you dare to ask." God really just wants us to have that relationship and to talk to Him- when things are both good and bad. I'm trying to spend more time thanking Him for all the little things I encounter throughout the day and to voice my concerns and hopes and dreams.

"Devote yourself to prayer, being watchful and thankful." Colossians 4:2

Annie and I reread this passage and the part that really stuck out to me was " call upon My Name...At that instant, the battle becomes Mine; your role is simply to trust Me as I fight for you." A lot of times, I feel bad just coming to God with all my problems, but this is what He wants. He wants us to ask for help so that He can show us how beautiful He is. Annie said something that really stuck with me. We were talking about how bad things happen to good people and I was just trying to wrap my head around how all this happened, which I do often, even though I know God is in control. She said that God didn't make this happen...we live in a broken world and it is times like this that God is able to show His beauty and power. I keep trying not to be so fixed on the why and more focused on God's works through this whole journey- it's a daily battle, but each day I'm made more aware of how many great changes have come from the last few months.