February 19-21

I've officially graduated from day rehab at Magee! Just because it was my last day didn't mean I worked any less...it was still a completely exhausting day. It was sad to say goodbye to all my new friends at the Sheraton. Everyone wished me good luck and I made promises to come back there as a study spot. Stella (one of the coffee ladies that would send fruit and cheese platters to my room while I was gone) gave me the biggest hug and told me repeatedly not to give up. Then I had to say goodbye to Herb, which was also difficult. There have been so many unexpected relationships that I've formed and will never forget. I can't wait to hold true to my word and come back to visit...while walking. 

Friday's rehab was filled with more goodbyes. I met a guy named Josh at the main hospital who left before me and joined day rehab. He has a high level injury (C6/C7) from a diving accident in July. He finished the day program last week, but still comes to the outpatient facility for therapy on the treadmill each day. He came for his regular therapy then stayed for lunch since it was my last day. All his treadmill therapy has been really beneficial and he actually just got some lower back activation. I have a really good feeling about his recovery, so I'm glad we exchanged contact information and I can see what other improvements he makes. Keep him in your prayers! 

Dusty drove me home and it felt so good knowing it was the last road trip between Winchester and Philadelphia for awhile. Im just ready for the next chapter. 

Saturday and Sunday were spent at the pool and at vineyards- my typical weekend activities. I feel stronger every time I go to the pool. Standing was way easier and I was actually able to float on my back with a noodle and kick myself halfway across the pool...I though dusty was behind me the whole time and didn't even realize it was me doing all the work. I'm looking forward to a full week of pool therapy and trying out some different equipment at the gym this week and even more excited about my medical assessment appointment in Baltimore this Thursday! 

February 18

Another perfect reminder that I can do this and I'm not alone. It's a great feeling to wake up and read words like this, then carry them with me throughout the day.

I had a good day. Therapy went well and I won at bowling when we went today as my last outing! Mom stayed with me until lunch and then Dusty got here. It's a bittersweet feeling knowing tomorrow is my last day. I'm so excited for the next step and being closer to home, but this really does feel like a new chapter in my life and I just have no idea what to expect. I'm also really bad with goodbyes. I've made some really great relationships and it makes me sad to know I'm not going to see some of these people as frequently. An incredibly crappy situation turned into a blessing that brought amazing people into my life. 

On the way home this afternoon, Herb turned the music down to ask me how long he'd been driving me back and forth on the shuttle. I told him 6 weeks and he he told me he'd gotten used to seeing my face every morning. He said it was a good way to start the day and that I'm an incredible person...he said I'd been an encouragement to him and that I was going to do great things. Of course, I was in the back seat tearing up and trying to hide it before he saw. He then had me find him on Facebook so we could keep in touch, haha.

February 17

I gave Herb some more of those cashews he liked so much (along with the Gouda that goes so well with it). He's asked me three times already if this is really my last week. He was convinced I had more time. He got a little choked up when I gave him the present and I think we'll both miss our morning rides.

I was welcomed back to the hotel this afternoon by one of the doormen, Greg. He joked that I was later than usual (it's funny that everyone here knows my schedule.) He then asked how therapy had been going and I told him this was my last week in Philly. He started telling me that he couldn't believe what had happened to me and that I'm one of the strongest people he's met. That's a pretty big statement coming from a stranger...I've never really used the words "strong" and "inspirational" to describe myself before, but those are two words I've been hearing over and over these days. 

Mom, Jenessa and I went to Reading Terminal Market when I got off the shuttle this afternoon. I'm actually starting to learn my way around! I just had to get another grilled cheese from one of the cheese booths. We went to happy hour at a bar across the street after we ate and watched a little bit of a bocce tournament they had going on. It looked so fun...now that's a game I would've been able to play- unlike first year of optometry school when my friends and I decided to play basketball (it was embarrassing-at least for me, haha). 

 

February 16

"Be still and trust my plan. I'm more than you think I am."

Those are lyrics from a song playing on the radio in the shuttle on my way to rehab this morning. It's probably not a coincidence that this was the devotional passage today...

I shouldn't be surprised with how spot on this devotional is, but I'm amazed more and more each day. I know God is using this time to do amazing things, but I can't help but somewhat wish these quiet hours away. I can't help but reflect on the few moments I do remember from when I first got sick, like waking up with the worst headache and still going to clinic to see patients...like Annie telling me multiple times that day to go see a doctor and me refusing because it was "just a migraine." How could everything change so fast? How could I just forget the next month and wake up completely paralyzed? It still brings tears to my eyes.

If some of God's greatest works can happen during sick circumstances, I hope they happen during mine. 

I'm thankful that this week is split between my mom and Dusty. Mom hasn't been to day rehab with me yet, so I had been looking forward to this time together. The last time it was just the two of us was during my first week at Magee (starting October 8). So far, we've had great conversation on the way here, good organization, amazing food, and very happy happy hours, haha. 

This morning, a woman I hadn't even seen working at the Sheraton before stopped to talk to me as if she knew me. She started by saying "are those legs starting to feel better?" I know it's obvious that I'm in a wheelchair, but it just seemed so specific that out of all things to ask, that's what she said. We got to talking and I told her I was in school to be an optometrist and that led into an even longer conversation about all of her eye problems. I actually really enjoyed talking to her about it and explaining a few different things to her. 

Things are really starting to come together for my time in Baltimore at Kennedy- Krieger. Not only is it going to be okay that Dad can be off work and still paid with that new benefit, but we just found out that there's no limit to the number of sessions of therapy I can have. How is that even possible? I've been around Magee and hospitals enough lately to know what a nightmare insurance can be in times like this. Everyone has a story. Somehow I'm blessed enough to have positive news about my insurance instead of the opposite. 

I've been having some weird sensations in my legs and feet the last couple days. Not sure if it's good or if it even means anything, but Mom reminded me that I talked about weird feelings in my arms and hands before they started coming back, so I'm crossing my fingers that changes may be happening in the next couple weeks. 

February 15

Nothing is impossible with God. That's something I firmly believe, but it's a different thought to think about Him creating miracles in MY life. He definitely is, but I can't help but wonder "why me?" sometimes. These days that question is geared more towards "why me" in terms of "how can this much good be happening and all these puzzle pieces be fitting together?" which is surprising to even me...don't get me wrong, I still can't help asking why it was me that had to get sick, but I'm feeling more at peace with everything and more confident that my body is healing, I just need to be patient. 

My timehop today said "what you do with your life is only part of the equation; the other, more important, half is who you're with when you're doing it." Mom keeps telling me this is about the journey and each day proves that. I'm trying to let go of my need for control and let God's will be done...trying not to focus on just what I want, but what God is doing right now. What He's doing is blessing me and those around me. The relationships I've formed and strengthened have blessed me beyond words. I think He's trying to tell me that He can do anything- including heal me, but that shouldn't be my focus. As hard as it is, I'm trying to focus on each day as it comes and leave the rest to Him. 

February 14

Happy Valentine's Day!

The last few days have been full of love and blessings. Friday's therapies went really well. I got to do the stim bike and spend time in the standing frame. I made Valentine's cards using watercolor pencils during my free time and Tom, one of the older patients in the program, is convinced I need to open a card making business, haha.

James drove from DC to come pick me up Friday afternoon, stayed at home for dinner, then drove back. Seems like a lot of driving to me, so I was really thankful he did that for me. I enjoyed having him there for my afternoon of therapy and then really liked catching up on our drive home. I'm so thankful for our friendship and am so proud of him. It's easy to forget that he's the younger sibling with how mature he is.

Stephanie met Mom and I at the pool Saturday morning. It's amazing how much more movement there is from week to week. Last week, my knees were barely coming out of the water when I floated on my back and kicked my legs and today, my thighs were coming out of the water! 

Dad had to go to a meeting for work Saturday morning while we were at the pool. There was a raffle and he won, wait for it....ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. As if that weren't enough, he also found out that he has a new benefit that allows him to claim disability for a loved one. He can have 26 weeks off at full pay for someone that meets family medical leave. It's perfect timing, just like so many other things these last few months. Our world was falling apart and God just keeps sending these signs to let us know that it's all in His hands and to not lose faith. 

February 11

Everyday I'm amazed all over again at God's perfect timing and placement of people in my life. My time with Sally earlier this week was something I'd been looking forward to for awhile. She's been friends with mom for a long time, but I never really had an opportunity to spend one-on-one time together. She sent me a card every day or at least every other day the whole time I was in the hospital. With all that was happening, it meant so much to have a constant like that. Sally left Wednesday morning and Mrs. Lenny, my friend Molly from school's mom, met me in the afternoon to stay with me the rest of the week. I've been friends with Molly throughout school and would call her one of my best friends, but I hadn't met her parents until literally 2 days before I got sick. 

The relationships I've made while in Philly are going to make me sad to leave! Stella, one of the women at the hotel, takes such good care of me. She's one of the ladies that always makes sure that I have my morning coffee and coupons to breakfast. Today, she made a special delivery to my room while I was gone- waters, orange juice, bananas, and a beautiful cheese platter. And she wouldn't even accept a tip..I'm thinking hard about what I can do for her next week to thank her for all she's done. 

Herb is another person that has made my stay in Philly so comfortable. I love our morning conversations and listening to KLove Christian radio. We always talk about different songs and love when they share the morning inspirational story. This afternoon, he said "I don't get it...how are you so likable?" It was sweet and made me happy. I told him it was easier to be happy than miserable and that it's how I want to be perceived, for people to see God's light through me. I feel like that's happening because of his comment last week that he knew "something was different" about me when we talked about my faith.

I did more wheelchair skills and the wheelies were already better than earlier this week! I also got to be in the standing frame during group and Joey, the therapy dog I had worked with a couple months ago, joined our session. I reflected on the first time I saw her and could hardly hold my balance just sitting and leaning side to side. 

For this week's outing, we went to the mall. I went to chick-fil-a, the loft, and Starbucks, making it a very successful trip! I got to stay in the wheelchair I had used at the main hospital, which is so much lighter and easier to use. It felt good to be able to push myself around and shop the sales racks (although it was exhausting!) 

When I got back to the hotel, Mrs. Lenny and I went to a nail salon down the street and got manicures. I can't even remember the last time I got to do that. It was relaxing and the lady that did my nails was so nice. I was excited to get them done for my Valentine's date Saturday night! (Dusty and I have reservations at the Butcher's Station, an amazing restaurant at home). We then went to a nearby Irish pub for dinner. It was absolutely freezing, but I'm glad we ventured out because it turned out to be a really great evening. (And to top it off, TGIT, my favorite Thursday night shows, all came back on!)