Having my own spinal cord injury and using a wheelchair has opened not only my eyes, but also all of those that are in close proximity to me. It's truly shocking how non-accessible things can be, even when they claim to be. For instance, a handicapped bathroom is technically accessible just because it has a railing...but what about how tall the toilet is? What about having enough room to turn around or to pull up next to the toilet? What about being able to pull up to the sink to wash your hands? What about not being able to open the door because it's either too heavy or there's no button to open it? No one thinks about these things.
We went to a restaurant in Baltimore a couple weeks ago that a therapist recommended and ran into a few problems..I've learned to look on Yelp and see if the box for accessibility is marked or not. It apparently was and I figured that since a therapist (who works with people in wheelchairs for a living!!) told us about it, then it was probably a safe bet. First of all, parking was almost impossible. Just because there are handicapped parking spots along the road, doesn't mean that you can get a wheelchair out of the car. The curb is usually in the way. And, trust me, getting in and out of a wheelchair on uneven surfaces is not enjoyable. We had to find a parking garage, then navigate the uneven sidewalks and cobblestone roads. And I felt every single bump and crack! When we finally got to the restaurant, there were three steps to get in. This isn't usually a problem when I have two people to help with the steps- one in the front and one in the back- but with just Mom and me, this just wasn't going to happen. We asked the hostess if there was an alternate entrance because we heard they were accessible...her response? "Well, once you get up these steps, it's accessible inside." WHAT?
The other day, I was sitting in the parking lot of Starbucks (not in a handicap spot) when a woman pulled into the handicap spot next to us so she could run in and get her take out from the restaurant next door. Mom wanted to make her aware that it wasn't a "loading zone." Some people just don't realize these things, so it's kind of our mission to point them out. Surprisingly, the woman knew exactly what she did and couldn't care less. She responded with "it was the first spot I saw." Seriously? She even went further to say that she didn't understand why we were upset, we already had a spot. Trust me lady, if I could take one of those other spots and walk into the store, I would. Gladly. So many people either use those parking spots without a placard, just because it's closest or because they're "just running in." People that do have placards may not necessarily need them and that's a whole different story. How can someone get handicapped plates when they're perfectly capable of walking around Costco for an hour? But my favorite is when all the handicapped spaces are taken at the gym. Interesting, huh? I actually need one because I need the space next to the car to get in and out of my wheelchair, but it took eight months to get my handicapped placard. Figure that one out.
Another thing- blocking the crosswalk or curb cuts. When Maureen stayed with me for a week in Philly, the city removed snow from the bulk of the sidewalks, but pushed it all to the edges- where the curb cuts were. We had to turn around and go out of our way so many times because we simply couldn't get around the snow. It was so time consuming and so not necessary.
It's a shame that I could spend the next few hours recounting every single problem we've run into over the past seven months since I've been out of the hospital. Fortunately, this isn't a permanent situation for me. I can't imagine what horror stories people have that have dealt with this their whole lives. I feel like this needs to be one of my goals, even when I'm better. To go around and make everyone aware of these issues. I want to be an advocate, even when it isn't about me anymore. These things just aren't executable.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/louisebruton/everyday-struggles-for-a-wheelchair-user-f5b5?utm_term=.jo354bo2KL#.siW2pqZAzW
That link is funny, but also explains some of the daily struggles. Some. Not even close to all of them. I'm glad this is all fairly new to me and temporary and that I'm not offended when people straight up say "what happened to you" or "what's wrong with you?" And people are constantly complimenting me, almost as if I catch them staring and they feel inclined to say something. It makes my brother so mad..."what, because you're in a wheelchair, people feel like they need to say something nice? Like they feel sorry or something?" I hadn't really thought of it like that before. That's not really something that bothers me that much. I'm more concerned with the other problems I've mentioned. I'm also more annoyed with everyone asking me if I'm alright all the time. It's nice when people offer to help, but sometimes, you just want to yell "I'll let you know if I need help!"
I'm sure this is a topic I'll revisit again and unfortunately, I'll have many more grievances to add to the list. I just feel like people need to be more informed about these things. You don't know or realize it until you're the one experiencing it.
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