May 25

I didn't have any scheduled therapy today, just a meeting with Dr. Sobelman at 10. This was nice because it meant we didn't even have to set an alarm and were able to take our time getting to KKI. My appointment with him went really well (just like last week). These are the type of people that should go into psychology. These are the type of people others feel comfortable talking to and opening up to without feeling like they're being too nosey or asking too many questions. Today, he just wanted to get to know me a little better. We mainly talked about my life- growing up, family, school. I actually don't even think we talked about current times and how I'm doing right now. I like that as he's getting to know me, I feel like I'm getting to know myself a little better. 

I'm learning a lot from this book by Keller. It's really making me think and also helping me deal with so many of my questions. I've been reflecting back to my time at Magee during inpatient. More specifically, when my friend Nick came to visit. I remember asking God why this had to happen to me, and then asking Nick if maybe it was some kind of punishment or was it bad that I had so many questions about why things were the way they were. He told me that it was okay to question and okay to complain because in the book of Job, he complained and God didn't consider it sinning. Keller has talked a lot about the book of Job in reference to pain and suffering. So much so that I've started reading that book of the Bible again. Sure enough, Job 1:22 says "in all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God." 

The nutritionist had discussed my diet and told me that my daily calorie intake should be about 1350 to maintain the weight I'm at- which is all she wanted. Well, good news, I've lost 3.5lb in the last six days! I'm supposed to have some metabolic testing done next week to get even more accurate information on the amount of calories I'm expending throughout the day.