It was nice to be home for awhile, but I was excited to get back to daily therapy because I'm really looking forward to seeing what will happen with my legs once I build up some more strength. Just the past week spent at the pool resulted in changes in tone and more noticeable movement, especially in the water.
Dusty and I surprisingly not only got to the inpatient facility (across the street) to catch the shuttle on time, but we were actually early! I was proud of us because it's always difficult to get moving in the morning, but it's even more difficult having to transfer out of the bed, into the shower, into my chair, etc. We went across the street and waited in the lobby until the shuttle was ready to leave. We were barely even there for five minutes when I saw one of the cleaning ladies that I'd talk to on a regular basis and joke about football with while I was a patient. (She's an eagles fan and I'm a redskins fan). She came off the elevator and right over to give me a hug when she saw me. I saw a couple other staff members I'd gotten to know while we waited there...that's one thing I love about Magee. I was there for almost 3 months and never met an unfriendly person. Dusty and I even went back this afternoon since the shuttle drops us off there anyway. I got to see the therapists, nurses, kitchen staff, and Regina (one of the patients I said I'd come back to see). It felt so good going in there and seeing everyone, but also being able to leave with Dusty instead of being left behind.
My first day of rehab went really well. I'm literally busy from 9-3, nonstop. Today was filled with a lot of evaluations. They needed to see what I could do and talk about what I wanted to work on in order to set goals for the next few weeks. It's crazy to think that when I first started at Magee, my first goal was to scratch my own nose (my face, especially my nose, had been really itchy and I was tired of having to ask someone to scratch if every five minutes). That was a goal I achieved in about two days, so I'm praying that my new goals of getting better at lower body dressing, improving transfers, getting better posture and balance, and strengthening my legs will also be achieved during my time here.
I loved my new therapists and everyone was very friendly- people I hadn't even met knew my name and said hi when I passed them in the halls. I was a little discouraged when my new PT, Kelly, didn't feel any movement in my legs, but I had to remind myself that other therapists have felt it, that it's more apparent after weight bearing exercises, and that it was definitely there in the water. My spirits were lifted when they rearranged my schedule to make sure I got on the stim bike before I left for the day. I hadn't done it in awhile, so I wasn't expecting a very good performance. I was excited that I did really well! I was still able to get off the motor and my legs felt really tingly and tired afterwards.
My day consists of PT, OT, and rec, then there are group activities throughout the week and a meeting with a psychologist once a week. I really liked the speech therapist, but I was still happy that she said I didn't need any speech therapy. We go on an outing once a week and this week is bowling...I'm hoping that I can at least score something when we go tomorrow, haha. I was never very good at bowling to begin with, so we'll see how it goes!
Everyone has to meet with the psychologist and I feel as though my evaluation with her went well today. Having a spinal cord injury changes many aspects of daily living and for some people, these changes may be permanent. It's good to have someone there that knows your history and gets to know you in case you need someone to talk to...I'm pretty open about my feelings and don't really think I need to talk to a professional about everything, but it's comforting to know someone is there if I change my mind. I had a lot of trouble dealing with the major adjustments a few months ago, but as I've seen improvements, I've been able to cope with these changes better. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel has helped with my outlook on the whole situation. However, when the psychologist asked me how I'd feel if I didn't have a full recovery, I almost lost it. I know that's something she probably has to ask and that she needs to make sure I don't have extremely unrealistic expectations, but this thought had never really crossed my mind before. It's really been weighing on my mind since that conversation. I forgot my devotional at home, so I had my mom send me a picture this afternoon. The passage couldn't have been more appropriate. It says "don't be discouraged that many of your prayers are yet unanswered." That's exactly what I needed to read. For a short time, I was doubting God's healing power and not trusting Him in the dark. I was letting my difficulties draw me into worrying when I need to trust Him and believe in all the goodness He can achieve in my life and my healing journey. It's difficult to follow Him in the darkness, but I need to remember that He hasn't failed me yet. I've come such a long way and I have yet to hit a plateau in my road to recovery. Healing takes time and I'm praying for patience. I don't want to think about a life in which I don't achieve full recovery because I feel like that is doubting God's power...I just need to wait on His timing.
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