February 8

I've seen the saying before, but read it again today- "what if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" It's funny that I saw this today because I was thinking about thankfulness today...I loved how Peyton Manning kept saying how grateful he was when he was being interviewed after winning the Super Bowl. I think his words were more like "I just can't wait to go hug my wife and my kids...I'm just so grateful. I'll definitely be drinking a lot of Budweiser and thanking the big man upstairs." Haha. But seriously, he told like three different reporters how "grateful" he was and wasn't ashamed to mention God and refer to his faith in front of all those cameras. 

Part of the day rehab program is having to meet with a psychologist (something I'm not really a fan of, but I'm sure it helps a lot of people). I meet with her on Mondays, so I had to today. She asked me how this experience has changed me...something totally textbook to ask and very hard to answer, but I found myself talking about just how thankful I am. I mean, I've always been thankful for everything I have, but obviously I'm even more thankful now. You just never know when things can change and how fast. It's easier to be thankful for things like family and a house, etc., but you don't think about being thankful for things like being able to walk, feed yourself, push the button on your electric toothbrush...I'll never forget when Mom and I looked at each other my first night at Magee with tears in our eyes as we said we'd never take anything for granted again.

Today, I was thankful to see these words. I sometimes feel guilty when I find myself struggling or pitying myself...but God knows how I feel and doesn't fault me for constantly calling out and asking for His help. At the same time, I needed that reminder that my problems shouldn't be my focus. My focus needs to be on Him and on getting better; and trusting Him to give me the strength to be better. I don't want to be like Peter, doubting and starting to sink in the water. I want to rise above, full of faith and trust- knowing that it'll all work out. 

"You make all things work together for my good."

I look forward to the future and am not afraid. If I can make it through this, I can make it through anything. And I can't wait to see how beautiful the grass is on the other side.

Sally and I went to Reading Terminal Market today (I just couldn't get enough of it last week! And I've been craving the monster cookie I got ever since...so naturally, I had to get three more today haha). I was going up and down the aisles in my wheelchair when a man came speed walking past me, took a slight step back and said "I just got out of one of those myself....they said I'd never walk again. Keep it up." And that was it. He didn't know me, know what happened, nothing, but it was inspirational and more than likely a sign. Things happen for a reason and I believe God is reminding me not to lose hope.