February 7, 2017

I still haven't quite kicked this cold of mine...luckily, I don't feel too bad. I just have this nagging cough, extremely tired abs, and haven't gotten a decent night of sleep in weeks. It's not holding me back any, in fact, therapy is somehow going better. I get worried I'm going to be too exhausted to do well, but I must be determined enough that I perform better. Who knows? Anyways, this lack of sleep is driving me crazy. I'm either coughing or wide awake with my mind running. This is what happened last night. During the few minutes I was asleep, I dreamt that I was rock climbing in a cave...I don't even remember who was with me, but I had the helmet on and everything. Of course, I woke up and let my thoughts take over the next hour or so. It got me thinking about dreams in general. Last week, Kristin's mom told me something-- Kristen has never once dreamt she was in a wheelchair. I started thinking about that...you know, I haven't either. Not even once have I had a dream where I was in a wheelchair or sick or anything like that. Maybe it means something. Ever since I got sick, I've been really big on these dreams. I hardly ever remember them, so when I do, I feel like there's something to it, like maybe there's a reason.

So here's my thought: have you ever prayed to God for a "sign"? or even not prayed about something and sought His help when maybe you should have? Maybe God uses dreams to make us listen. It's the one time He can actually have our attention. I've told the story a few times, but when I was in the ICU at UVA, I dreamt that Molly and I were walking around the nurses station all night. I told my mom the next day that I wasn't doing anything because I was way too tired from walking around with Molly all night. I wasn't even done telling the story when Molly texted both her and Dusty to say she dreamt we were walking around the nurses station all night. We literally had the same exact dream--right down to what we were wearing and what we were talking about. As if that weren't weird enough, when Molly called to tell her mom about it, her mom admitted that she had the same dream two nights before. It still gives me goosebumps! But really, ever since that, I've been really intrigued by dreams. So many people have told me about their dreams of me walking or running. And Dennis's dream! He's only dreamt of two patients, ever, and one was me. And if that weren't enough, he's had the same reoccurring dream THREE times of me walking into a BBQ with crutches to say hello.

I always have dreams like this when I start to have worries or doubts. Not that my dream of rock climbing in a cave was really a "sign," but maybe I needed reassurance that nothing is going to hold me back. That I can do whatever I want and there aren't any limitations. (but trust me, I don't really want to go rock climbing in a cave anytime soon).